Sunday, July 27, 2014
Oh, love. When it happens it hits you upside the head and all that was once calm and productive turns into a flux of opposing emotions. How can it be balance? It's too extreme. So enjoyable, so beautiful, all encompassing yet full of sadness and upset.
When I teach yoga I have been known to say words like: "In yoga there is no competition. There is no ego. No judgement." Ego is a funny thing. This weekend I explored the concept with another mind. Some people are very good at polishing our egos. Our egos are this vision, a statue, of this idea, an ideal self, the pristine and best version of ourselves. The ego takes it's reference from the time you looked the most smashing, the best clothes, your best hair day. That time your skin was flawless? Your ego sees you like that at all times. And when that person comes along and strokes it, you love it. I love it too. We all do. But that's not us all the time, so should we be so attached to this "ego?"
When we fight with those we love the ego gets bruised. Someone chipped the nose of your statue or keyed the cheek of your pristine ego version of yourself and you get angry or you cry or you pout. I do this. We do this. It's human. But is the "nip to the proverbial nose" accurate? Is it worth being attached to this? It's just a statue. It's an idea. It's the ego.
So I think it'll be a good exercise to let go of ego stuff. Let go of ego. If a relationship works, it does. If it doesn't, it's ok too. And if someone chips your ego? Let it go, it doesn't mean anything really. Well, try to let it go. It's not easy to do that and many of us won't be able to. And those strokes to our ego that the ones who love us give? Take those with a a deep breath too. Only you know who you are. You're awesome by the way. Don't forget that.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
In July 2013 I went to the gym every day. I wanted to lose weight and increase my energy levels. But nothing changed - my measurements were the same, my weight, my body fat percentage was I think 24%? On August 13, 2013 I began doing two things - meditating every day for an hour at 4 in the morning at my mosque and trail running in a beautiful national park with my father. I began to remember my worth. I realized what I wanted. I thought perhaps my stint in communications work wasn't as passionate a subject for me as my years of training/educating and creating change was.
Two weeks after I began to run and meditate regularly (consistency is key) I got a job offer that made me so happy, I wanted to cry. It was perfect for me. I began work a month after I got the job and didn't stop running or meditating. I looked at my blessings. I was gentle and forgiving with myself. I continued to see my worth, my strength and all the blessings in my life. I've been working in this new job for a month now and I love it. I don't run or meditate every day but I now take high intensity interval training at work, am taking a yoga teacher training course which is very intensive, run at the gym at work, and I trail run and meditate on weekends.
After watching this video, I believe that Lissa is correct. I had found love in my life, I was grateful and I had let go of my preconceived notions that I wasn't smart enough or as "put together" as some of my colleagues. I am smart, put together and now I weigh my ideal goal weight with a great body fat percentage (20?) and athlete-level BMI (18?)... something like that. The point is, I feel great and good things happen to me.